Covid-19 has impacted our lives. Let me tell you what it’s been like to be pregnant during a pandemic.
In the beginning I was skeptical and didn’t think it was as serious as the media made it seem. I witness the panic buying (I still don’t understand the toilet paper shortage). At first I was fine with the lockdown because once baby is born, I’ll still be in quarantine. But now it makes me sad for my son. We have a backyard and keep him active, but it’s not the same. I miss taking him to the playground and his playdates. I miss our Target and ice cream dates. For weeks I couldn’t find baby wipes and diapers in my son’s size. I stated to panic because those are necessities. What if later on I can’t find diapers for my kids? I was mad that people are hoarding baby wipes! They can use other products to wipe their dumb phone or car.
Then the news coverage and social media started giving me anxiety
I appreciate my friends but I was bombarded with news articles about pregnant women having the virus. I’m sure they meant well but didn’t realize it was affecting my mental health. Then I started having panic attacks.
I live in both the USA and Mexico. My husband was scheduled to return to the USA a few weeks before my due date since his business required him to stay in Mexico and his business in the USA didn’t need him until the summer. The some hospitals reported that they weren’t allowing a supporting partner to be present during labor and absolutely no visitors. I know women have given birth alone. Many of my cousins have been through traumatizing labors alone. And yes, we are strong, we can do it, trust the nurses and doctors, but for me, that’s terrifying.
Then they announced they would close the borders
What if my husband wasn’t able to come back to the US? What if I had to give birth alone? After numerous nervous breakdowns, one day I woke up to a video phone call from my husband. He was calling me from the airport. I thought he was messing with me and got annoyed. 20 mins later my dad went to the airport and yes, my husband was home. After two intense days of trying to get on any flight, he was able to surprise me and be with his family. My panic attacks and anxiety went away, but then the paranoia set in.
Everyone in my household is being careful and taking precautions, however I’m the one at higher risk. What if my son, my newborn or I get infected? What if my parents, with whom I Iive with get infected? My children depend on me and moms aren’t allowed sick days. I’ve always been a germaphobe but now I’ve become Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory.
My friends check in on me and I put on a brave face, but I have good and bad days
The hospital where I’ll give birth has assured me that the pediatric and maternity departments are completely separate from where they are treating covid-19 patients. The lockdown will end but the virus won’t be gone. I worry about protecting my family. My newborn will be the most fragile.
I feel for all pregnant women, especially first time moms that haven’t had the pregnancy they dreamed of. I feel for the partners not able to attend the ultrasounds, for the ones that had to cancel baby showers and maternity photoshoots, and for the grandparents and family members not able to meet the baby in person. It’s been scary to be pregnant during a pandemic; not knowing what the future or new normal will be like. But our kids will be the strength we need to push forward.
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